Vixen Palace Going Down


You can really tell when your management team is on their game and when they’re only in it for themselves.

Personally I love B but when comes to the business I’m not her biggest fan and I’m not alone. Since B took over the Vixens last year the clients have been getting over on some of the new girls by paying cheaper than what we’re used to.

She been too wrapped up in her own personal gains rather than what’s best for the business she’s running.  She’s allowing Vixens to run wild……stealing clients…….Bringing boyfriends to the palace for over nights…….not showing up to dates…..Not being around for viewings…..THIS SHIT IS CRAZY

I’ve only seen her twice and that was when she was fixing the Brooklyn/ Red drama.

And B is not only head of the Vixens but she also became the head of Campus Candy to make sure the brothers didn’t  fuck their way through the roster. And from the rumors I hear Campus Candy clients have been getting bold with the girls and haven’t been held accountable for their actions.

Our complaints must have been heard a little too loud and clear because a meeting was called for all the escorts.

Vixen, Campus Candy and Newbies.

Everyone was to meet at the palace at 10am Thursday

A lot of Vixens myself included felt a little nervous because only a handful of us spoke out against B running the Vixens into the ground.

I went to the palace with Tiny and Doe and when we walked in the door my jaw dropped to the floor.

It was the first time since I became a Vixen that the palace had not a single client in it.

Instead the house was packed with all the escorts from the different groups I even seen Vixens who’ve been on permanent jobs that I haven’t seen since I started working.

And trust me the surprises didn’t stop there……Nala walked  in with a group of ridiculously sexy guys.

We’ve all heard the rumors over the years about G having male escorts that she kept tight-lipped about but to see the rumor in the flesh was something else. These had to be 7 of the finest men I had ever seen in my life but before any of us could get a good drool session in the door slams shut and when I say everyone almost shit their pants I MEAN EVERYONE.

Her heels were smashing so hard on the ground I thought she was going to crack the marble.

G was in the building and she was mad as all hell  and for someone who had a kid and pregnant with baby #2 she looked damn good.  She walked over to B and the brothers said something and when one of them tried to speak and she just stared them down and they shut up and walked out the building.

When she turned towards us and everyone sat up straight “Clearly leaving you in the hands of others was not working out. But the blame is not all on them some of you think you run this bur don’t worry I’m back to get my house in fucking order so sit, stand, or find a corner to curl up in because I have words for every one of you”

Tiny shoved me with her elbow “Time to say bye to our jobs”

For the next 3 hours I watched girl after girl walk into G’s office and walk back out a few moments later with a stone face.

When I looked around the room I noticed the only ones left in the room were Vixens. Her office door opens and she steps out “Why in the fuck are you here?”

All we could do was look around at each other because we knew we were more than fucked

Some Things Never Change

oh yes

I knew my little stunt at the bar was going to get Tristan’s attention so I wasn’t at all  shocked when he called me the next week to meet up.

I was getting dressed modeling each outfit out in front of my sister who was still trying to adjust to the new Morgan.

“Lot of black in your wardrobe these days. Is old Mo in there at all?” …. “Are we gonna start this again?”… “I’m not judging you. I’m just saying it’s weird seeing this side of you”… “Bright hippie Morgan is in here. But come on” I stepped out the closest in tight cut up jeans with lace tights under, a black and red lace bra with a leather jacket over “New Morgan looks good”

Tristan sent me a text asking me to meet him at his new place.  I guess he saw it as his opportunity to show me what he’s been up to.

The second I pulled up to the building I knew there was no way in hell Tristan could afford a spot like this tossing pizzas in the air.

He met me in the lobby looking good and pretty damn confident “Welcome” I walked passed him “Let’s make this quick”… “Got somewhere to be?”… “Yes”

We go up to his condo overlooking the city “Guess I’m not the only one whoring myself out” he starts in on his smug apology. I tried to contain my laughter but I couldn’t “Oh please Tristan save it”.. “Well alright”.. “Nice place”… “let me show you around”

He takes me into the master bedroom and yes I was very impressed “So who’s dick did you suck to upgrade to this place?”… “No dicks were sucked” after showing me 3 other bedrooms he takes me into the last one “This is my room”… “You don’t sleep in your master?”… “Drink?”… “Avoiding? Alright I’ll play along.”

“Not gonna lie I was hoping you’d be here licking your wounds”…“I did for a few days”… “Then you had a long lost relative die and leave you a ridiculous amount of cash that turned that frown upside down?”… “No”… “I know you can’t afford a place like this making pizza”…  “Do the others know about this new beau our little Mo has?”

Truth is I’ve ignored and avoided the others except Major since he was always at the palace.

“Wasn’t aware I had to check-in with them or you” … “Just figured you’d pull the same show on them that you did me”… “What show is that?”… “Showing up dressed like that when you knew I’d be there. And practically fucking that guy in front of me”… “Did I do that?”… “Yes”… “Hmmm sorry. So you gonna tell me how you can afford a place like this?”

After avoiding my question for another few minutes Tristan looked right pass me “Hey I didn’t hear you walk in”

He didn’t have to say a word or even touch me his energy was strong enough to let me know exactly who was standing behind me “Miss me?”… “Not in the slightest” I turned around and there he was … “Kennedy”… “Morgan. I must say I prefer your other clothing”… “I don’t dress for your liking”

“I hear you have a new man in your life” I’d be a cold stone liar if I said the thought of  Kennedy punishing me for fucking someone else  didn’t still make my panties wet. “This was fun but I gotta go”

Lord knows I needed to get far away from Kennedy as fast as I could before those sadistic temptations dragged me in.

I didn’t get a half step around him when he grabbed me “You’ve been avoiding me Morgan”… “You figured that out all on your own?”… “I missed that smart ass mouth”… “It didn’t miss you”… “Excuse us for a moment Tristan”

I was pushed against the wall of Kennedy’s master bedroom my jacket was pulled off and thrown somewhere Kennedy’s tongue was down my throat “Turn around” I could barely catch my breath.

He twisted me around and pushed my hands above my head and handcuffed them to the light fixture “You had this planned out” He ripped my pants off like they were paper “You figured that out all on your own?”

In one swift move he smacked my ass then shoved his dick deep in my pussy “Your mouth says you don’t miss me but this pussy sings a different tune” My face was being smashed against the wall with every thrust.

One hand wrapped around my hair and the other gripped my shoulder “Does he fuck like me?”… “Better” he pulled my hair tighter and started sharp long hard thrust “What was that?”… “I. Said. Better”

He pulled the cuffs over the fixture threw me on the bed “One more time”… “He fucks much better than you” That sexy sadist look came across his face and I knew it was on…

He grabbed my feet and yanked me right off the bed to my knees “Better than me too little bird?”… “Jackson!!!”

Here I am on my hands and knees with the naked sadist twins ready to fuck me something vicious.

No Revenge Like A Vixen Revenge

oh morgan

You have not lived until your pussy has been eaten out on a penthouse balcony blasting Nina Simon- Black Bird by a pinky blinder man that prides himself in the art of pussy eating.

I know Tristan was hoping him ratting me out to my family would make me curl up in a ball and die a slow miserable depressing death……. Too bad for him he didn’t see Abe in my very very near future.

In our time away from the blog a rival underground escort company that we’ve been battling against since the Vixens got started felt a need to start taking shots at G and those bitches even went as far as having the palace raided by the alphabet boys.

So if you know G you already know that didn’t go over well.

My parents and brother still aren’t talking to me but after a long drunk night my sister not only forgave me for lying to her but she moved in with me (and NO she’s not becoming a Vixen)

And as for Tristan…….

I knew Tristan like the back of my powder pink manicure hand. He spent every Thursday at the same bar with his roommates they sat and the same table ordered the same drinks and used the same cat calls every time.

Brooklyn made it clear the best way to get over one man is get under a hotter one and I agree but what fun would it be if I couldn’t show my old beau just how hot and hypersexual my new beau was.

When I got to the bar Abe was already at the table with a few of his other sexy coworkers I see Tristan and his roomies at the table throwing beers back. I was wearing a short leather pleated skirt with a blue lace top and knee high heel boots that had punk spikes going up the sides my hair was freshly dyed my now trademark pink look.

The revenge gods were definitely working in my favor because the second I headed to the bar  Imagine Dragons- So Sorry started banging and I was getting my model walk on with every hit of the bass. Oh yes honey I was dressed to kill and walked with sexy vengeance and a wicked smile. I felt every pair of eyes undressing me.

I walked over to the bar leaned over just enough to make every one wish god would make the wind blow so they could see if I was wearing panties. Before I had the chance to order the bartender slid me a drink “You’re already paid for Mo” I grabbed him by the shirt pulled him close and kissed the side of his neck “Thanks Mark”… “You can keep thanking me. But it was the group of guys behind you”

I turned around and saw Abe hold up his glass along with … Knox, Paul, Onzi and Clayton

Quick rundown of Abe’s crew

Knox- If you have a biker boy fantasy it gets no hotter than Knox I swear that man did things to a leather vest and a motorcycle that should be illegal….. Paul- was that boy next door Milfs drooled over….Onzi- Whoever has a dark chocolate fantasy I bet one look at Onzi and you’d be begging to have that chocolate melt in your mouth… Clayton- was the nerd of the group. But once he took off his clothes the boy was definitely a Greek god in a previous life.

Anyway I started to walk over to the table before I was stopped by Tristan “What the fuck Morgan?”…. I stepped around him and kept walking. When I got to the Abe I turned around and could see Tristan was still looking at me so I grabbed Abe and started a serious borderline pornographic display of my gratefulness for the drink.

Tristan walked over “She’s an escort. Just so you know” Onzi started laughing and threw a stack of crisp bills on the table. Abe whispered in my ear for me to bend over his lap. He grabbed the stack of cash lifted up my skirt and started spanking me with it  “We all are. Just so you know”

I need help


I am sick and tired of being Susie homemaker girlfriend. Being couped up under Caleb was working my nerves. I mean honestly does the dude have any friends? I know when you’re in a relationship you want to spend time with your significant other but, you also need that separation. If I didn’t see Caleb for two weeks I wouldn’t sweat it because, I love the fact that I actually ‘miss him’ but, seeing him everyday for the past month, is annoying. Also the Captain Crunch ex of mine isn’t doing it for me anymore. It was super exciting that first week but, now when talk I’m like “this is why you should’ve stayed an ex.” He’s boring! We’re boring together but, that fucking monotone voice just pulls me in somehow.

Do I deserve Caleb.. no. Never in a million years will I fully deserve someone like him. I love the kid but, I’m not in love with him. He has tried so hard to be the guy I think I want but, it’s not working because thats not his personality. I’ve been avoiding the conversation because, every time I want to bring it up he goes and do something ‘nice.’ Ugh I know I sound like ‘that girl’ and, trust me I want to slap myself for dragging the kid through this mess but, there has to be a reason why the break-up hasn’t happened yet? By all means Caleb should’ve left me high and dry a while ago but, he stuck around…

I haven’t had sex yet with Captain…well phone sex but, it was… Yea…. Phone sex. He had his shining moment at the end when he came, everything else was blah. Which made me feel like complete crap at the end. I wouldn’t say I’m addicted to sex but, I get bored easily. I need to find the elusive “one” but, I’m afraid once I find that back breaking make me scream to the heavens dick, it’s gonna be attached to the biggest asshole of my life! Then I’m gonna be the main story on CNN about how I “Snapped.”

Couples That Play Together Fuck Better

odd couple

What girl doesn’t love a good cupcake phase I mean come on it’s the best 30 days of every relationship.

Ever since we met at dinner Abe and I have been glued to each other J J J when we weren’t hanging out we were talking on the phone if we weren’t talking we were fucking.

No surprise this early addiction to each other was making work hard and kinda fun……

And you already know our cupcake phase was like no other instead of spending hours sending cute texts back and forth.

Abe and I would shadow each other on our first meets and would make bets on who does it better……

Abe’s Meet:

Client: Deborah, 47

Marital Status: Married

Fantasy: Fuck bartender on a box of limes

Time Paid: 1 hour

I meet Abe at some biker bar one of his friends own and see him behind the bar serving drinks. I take a seat at the end and order a beer. Deb walks in looking like a house wife that made a wrong turn she was wearing a white polka dot blue dress with a white sweater over and some black flats and before she sat down she pulled out a napkin and wipped the seat down and clunched on to her purse.

I along with everyone else stared at her like she was crazy.

Abe approached her leaned against the bar showing his tatted up arm purposely trying to turn me and yes I was turned on

“What can I get ya gorgeous?” Her eyes got huge and I started saying to myself “Yes Deb that accent I know” She adjusted herself “Not sure” He grabbed a lime put it in his mouth grabbed her arms pulled her close and used his tongue to put it in her mouth “I suggest something with lime” The whole bar was looking at the action taking place.

He slid a paper across the bar she grabbed it read it and stuffed it in her purse got up from the stool and hurried out the door. The second the door closed behind her all the guys started yelling and howling “Cougar tamer strikes again”

Later on that day I met Abe at his loft since it was his turn to cook and dish on his dirty deeds.

It turns out Abe took Deb behind the bar dumpster and fucked her doggy style on a box of fresh cut limes.

Morgan’s Meet:

Client: Joseph , 59

Fantasy: Babysitter’s Club

Marital Status: Working on Divorce # 4

Time Paid: 2 ½ hours

I had to dress like porn style teenager you know the type pigtails, white shirt with a collar, patent leather school girl shoes, plaid skirt with knee high stockings, and you know it wouldn’t be complete without a Hello Kitty back pack.

I’m really not sure what kind of teenagers porn companies get their ideas from…….

He wanted to me to meet him during a golf session with a couple of his buddies and hand out cute pink business cards he made for me.

Walking through the country club was hilarious women were looking at me crazy and men were clearly happy I was walking around.

I sat at a table by myself and ordered a vanilla milkshake with extra whipped cream a very teeny bopper drink. When the waiter brought it over “Never a dull moment when you work here” “Glad I can be you’re entertainment for the day”

Joseph and his band of pedo fantasy gang walk in and take a seat across from me. I see Abe at the bar so I get up walk over step on the foot rail and bend over the bar so I can reach the jar of cherries of course.

Did I mention I wasn’t wearing any panties? Well I wasn’t and from the loud stuck up female gasp the rest of the restaurant now knew it too.

After innocently getting myself some cherries I went back to my table.

Joseph started up a conversation about needing a new sitter since he will be getting his kids on the weekend.

“Excuse me sir I’m a babysitter” I get up turn my ass towards them and bend over so I can get my pretty pink business cards and so they can get a good look at something else that’s pretty and pink.

I give each of the men a card “I’m open and very flexible” Joseph pulls a hotel key out his pocket “Meet me here so we can discuss prices”

Hour later I was bent over Joseph’s tables still in my full teen outfit including that damn hello kitty backpack “You dirty little girl” “Oh Mr. Joseph please don’t tell my daddy” “Oh I’m gonna tell him. I’m gonna tell him how good I fucked his dirty little girl” I put on my best baby voice “I wanna be your dirty little girl” And that was all it took.

When I got home Abe was at my door waving his arms up and down in the air bowing down to me “You win”

Before I had to hide my work from Tristan, Not discuss clients with Kennedy or Major and Connor well actually Connor could give two fucks about what I was doing as long as my pussy was available when he came to town with G.

Now instead of having to hide what I did during my work day or be embarrassed by it I got to express it barefoot over takeout.  It’s weird dating another escort but fun as hell because talks of blow jobs and anal plugs at the dinner table is normal.

I’m too big for this…


Akward- embarrassing or inconvienient; caused by lack of social grace: ‘an akward moment’

My ‘Akward” moment came when my husband was over my home to try and work things out. Only thing was I was supposed to meet Jackson for our little rendezvous.

Of course I was at home minding my damn business as usual, when there’s a knock at my door. I assumed it was Jackson just because he can be impatient at times. So, when I went to answer the door with a ‘smize’ on my face, it was my husband. My husband that I still love. Yes, I still love that man. No, I’m still in love with that man. Seeing him in the door with that ‘I’m wearing all my emotions on my face’ look had me weak in the knees for a hot second. Only because, I knew that he knew that he fucked up. All the love in the world can’t make up the fact that he walked out on our marriage at the drop of a dime.

He slammed the divorce papers down on the floor by my feet telling me “fuck the damn papers, you’re not leaving.”

“ Excuse me? I’m a grown ass woman and you can’t tell me what to do. I’m having a baby and you left so, we have nothing to discuss. We’re done.”

“Yes I fucking left when I found out that you were knocked up by another muthafucka. Did you really expect to me to be all happy with unicorn bliss that another man impregnated MY WIFE?! I don’t know what fairytale land you’re living in but, in this household that shit ain’t gonna fly. I needed to get away because, every time I looked at you all I saw was him and, I couldn’t be around you anymore. Being away from you made me realize that what we have isn’t gonna break us until you had your punk ass lawyer send me those damn papers. Don’t you remember our vows? We will never go to bed md at each other? I damn sure didn’t! So, what your stubborn ass needs to do is tear those papers and I’m moving back in. Got it?”

“Ugh I wish you would’ve called first. I’m working tonight.” I lied. Jackson wasn’t a real client anymore in my other room hearing all my damn business was little miss Morgan. I can only imagine the shit I gotta hear from her once this is over. Why did I let her move in again?

“Wait, you’re working while you’re pregnant? I don’t give two shits about the money but, no wife of mine is gonna be out there in these streets carrying my child.”

Did he just call me a street hoe?!?! He has me fucked up with one these simple ass hoes out here but wait, he said his child  my heart fluttered. Is he serious about wanting to come home? I should’ve attacked his and I would’ve but, Morgan was yelling in her bedroom “NO, NO, NO, NO….” What else is wrong with this girl?

“Who’s here?”

“Morgan” He gave that ‘wtf is she doing here look’ “I’ll explain later.”

“Listen honey boo boo child if you wanted my attention whats going on in there?” I yelled from the hallway. It’s my house and I’m not taking any unnecessary steps while I’m this big. The door creaked open like in a horror flick and she came out slowly with a very pale look on her face. I seriously thought the girl was possessed or something but, I knew better than to talk shit at that moment because, it looked as if her whole life had been turned upside down. I actually felt sorry for her. “Tristan told everyone. Tristan told my whole fucking family what I do. Tristan… he…. I’m dead to my family..they don’t want me anymore…”

Okay at that moment my heart felt some true remorse for her because, I could never imagine what that feels like. She sits on the couch and, I plop right next to her holding her while she cried on my recently overgrown watermelons. I know Red would kill me if she was to walk in at this very moment but, the little woman needed someone to console considering her mom and even her sister have completely turned their backs on her because, some bitch ass man told them something about her. That’s one thing I can’t stand is a grown ass man talking about a female. That’s some straight up childish bitch shit. That’s what bitches do to each other. If you’re a man leave your comments to yourself never ever talk shit about a woman to anybody… Back to Morgan… she didn’t even say anything she just cried in my arms for which felt like an eternity. My husband in the meantime came back inside with his suitcases “who told you that you were moving back in?”

“Last I checked my name is on the deed as well. Besides its time daddy came back home and we sorted this shit out, the right way.”

“Umm hello my life is over right now can you please focus on me!” There’s the Morgan I know. “Look I don’t know what to tell you to do about your family but, I’m here for you but, the next time you come in between me and his business I’m not gonna be so nice.” I got up to finish my conversation with the hubby when he whispered “Abe” in my ear. “What about him?” “It might be what she needs right now.” “Do you think she can handle him? If memory serves me correctly Abe makes those sadist twins look like cotton candy flavored jelly bellies.” “What do you mean if memory serves you correctly?” “Oh, ummm yea so, do you have any more luggage that I can help you with babe?”

I Scream You Scream We All Scream For Man Cream


Brooklyn was fed up with me crying and spilling ice cream over her fresh couch so she dragged me out the house and forced me out for dinner so I can “Drop your problems at the bottom of a whiskey bottle”.

I was not in the mood to do anything but sit in my room or on her couch 😉 and call my parents 100 times leaving voicemails till their boxes were full.

But Brooklyn had other plans……

She took me to her favorite steakhouse and made sure we had a seat right in the middle of the room Brooklyn had a thing about people watching it gave her some weird sense of calm.

The whole experience was a good distraction for a little but by my fourth round of drinks I was whining about my family and my private life falling apart.

Before I got too deep in my self-pity Brooklyn hits me with “Morgan I’m really trying to tolerate you but girl you are working my last nerve. My motto is best way to get over 4 good dicks is to get under 1 amazing one”

She gave me a long speech about how I need to find someone to talk to that knows what it’s like to live this life and has fresh eyes about me.

“I brought you to dinner to introduce you to just that person” “Brooklyn I really can’t take on anything else” “Girl please Abe is already on his way so suck it up”

Few drinks later Brooklyn stood up “He’s here”

I looked at the door “That….is Abe?” “Yes. It. is”

Abe was about 6’2 with a full arm tattoo sleeve and looking like he just walked off the set of Peaky Blinders with a white long sleeved collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, red and black bow tie, suspenders, sexy beard with mustache, slicked back hair with shaved sides and a cigarette in the corner of his mouth.

I was getting light headed till Brooklyn pinched my arm “Girl breathe before you pass out. He’s just a man” “Huh?” “You stopped breathing. Don’t embarrass me”

“Hey B.B. How’s the baby?” Sweet Jesus his voice was sexy deep and Irish

“Abe this is Morgan” He shook my hand and winked at me……I damn near melted all over the floor “Nice to meet you Morgan” “You too Abe”

He sat down and ordered himself a drink and some food and started having a conversation and I really wish I could tell you what he was saying but all I could do was stare at his lips and his strong Adam’s Apple.

He excused himself from the table to take a piss and Brooklyn slapped my arm “Can you stop staring at him like a creeper” “I’m not” “Girl you are staring at him like you have x-ray vision”

When he came back Brooklyn used her pregnancy as an excuse to leave “Well I did my job. You two have fun” I grabbed her arm “You’re leaving?” “Yes bitch. Relax Abe won’t bite unless you pay him to. Abe always a pleasure see you two later”

He got up from his seat and sat next to me “So B.B told me a lot about you” “Wish I could say the same” “Ask away” “Open book type a guy aye?” “You could say that” “Alright. Age?” “32” “How many tattoos?” “I can get naked for you to find out” “Hmmm I’ll keep that I mind……kids?” “negative” “crazy ex wife or current girlfriend in the mix?” “HA. No” “Birthplace?” “Blackrock Ireland” “What brings you here?” “Work”  “And what kind of work is that?” “Cougar tamer” “Like an animal trainer?”

He almost chocked on his beer from laughing so hard “B.B said I’d like you” “Why?  I don’t have some weird fetish for animal trainers” “I’m a supreme cock supplier” “You’re an escort?” “You looked shocked. Am I sexy enough for you?” “You’re plenty sexy and I think you know it”

You’ve Got Mail


I’ve been avoiding the men in my life until I could untangle the big ball of cluster fuck in my head.

I put in for some time off with G slightly explaining my messy situation trying not go into too much detail since some of my mess involved her brother in-law.

“Morgan you are going to focus on school and that’s it” Is the speech I gave myself every morning before I left the house. But that task is kinda hard when you have text after text from the addictions you’re trying to wing yourself off of.

Tristan-‘Where are you?’ Kennedy- ‘Playing games with me honey bee?’ Major- ‘Quick fuck for lunch?’ Connor- ‘think that naughty pussy deserves a good licking?’

Weeks have gone by and I was still of dodging text, calls a random house drive-by from Major, and flowers upon flowers from Tristan.

Unfortunately I couldn’t avoid the men forever so I had no choice ….it was time to face my mess head on.

My original plan was to get them all together and do it face to face but knowing my lack of self-control with Kennedy and Major I opted for a conference call instead.

There was no sugar coating conversation I ripped that shit off like duct tape on a hairy arm “Ok I’m going to make this quick guys. This thing we have. This sex crazed love pentagon haze we’re all in is over” before either of them had a chance to give me some sly comeback I hung up the phone and turned it off.

They called and texted my personal and business phone so much I had to get them changed.

For the next week I camped out at my enemy’s residents because……… 1. that would be the last place any of them would look for me 2. If anyone understood what is like mixing business and pleasure with a sadist twin it was Brooklyn and 3. Because I knew Jackson was back home and her husband hadn’t been staying in their house since he found out whose baby she’s carrying.

I knew they wouldn’t be too happy about the way I handled it but I never expected the backlash to be so harsh. Kennedy paid ridiculous amounts for my time….Major caught me in a corner every time I step foot in Vixen Palace…..Connor was the only cool one about the situation….

And as for Tristan……

He took it a step further and sent each member of my family a video of my NYE sexapades along with a long email about how I have been lying to them and what I’ve been doing for money.

Long story short after my parents ripped me a new they told me they want nothing to do with me until I became the daughter the raised.

A Very Red Birthday

little red
Did everyone have a good Valentine’s day? I’d partied like it was 1999. Good times, good times.
My birthday weekend started out better than expected. My best boobooski Brooklyn came over and we declared it girls weekend. No Caleb, no husband, no Jackson..fuck I have to get used to saying that. I still have the collar he gave. It was just us gals doing what we do best, chill. At the end of the day doing absolutely nothing is my favorite activity. We decided to watch “Addicted” which was amazed-balls! The Cuban guy William Levy is scrumptious. He was definitely added to my ‘spank bank cloud.’ Girls time continued into Saturday, the day of love and my born day. My hunnie bun Caleb sent me a bouquet of louboutins! He may be vanilla but, my baby knows how to take care of me. Anywho the day consisted of full on pampering to be prepared for the parrrrtay.
The party was awesome. 90’s themed and no wallflowers allowed. Even if all you could do was a simple two-step your ass better be doing that, or else. Lol.. no it was all good fun. I was hoping for a stripper to pop out my cake or something the whole night because, there’s normally a ‘surprise’ element at my birthday parties. I received a surprise alright… My ex. My kryptonite. Someone I know is bad for me but, I can’t stay away. No, he didn’t show up at my party. We haven’t talked to each other in over a year so, that would’ve been creepy. No, he texted “Happy Birthday *insert real name here*.”
“You’ve got to be kidding.” Brooklyn asked “what’s up?” When she overheard me. I passed her my phone so she could see with her own eyes who texted me.
“Well, what you gonna do?”
“I don’t know? Should I text him back? Yea, I’ll text him but, it’s gonna have to wait til later.”
May I remind you I’m at MY party with my boyfriend that I’M still trying to work things out with and, at that point in time all I was concerned about was making my ex wait. What’s wrong with me? I know exactly what’s wrong..I’m selfish. Plain and simple. Not even five minutes pass, which felt like five days I text back and, that’s where the trouble begins.
Let’s fast forward to the next day, particularly 2am. Party is over. Caleb had to leave the party early for a business trip. So, I’m home alone, naked in my bed thinking about “Captain.” The Ex is training to be a captain in the military so, I find the alias simple but, fitting. So, I call captain because, I hate texting. 2am and, I just called another man, yup, I’m selfish and, horny. One of two things could happen. No answer or he answers and does everything thing I’m imagining in my head. Along with the dirty, kinky, nasty thoughts were all the thoughts about why he’s an ‘Ex.’ Captain and I were Damn near perfect for a year and a half (together two years). Things changed when He said “I love you” first. I wasn’t even on that page of love but, as soon as he said it something changed in me. Like I think I may love you as well but, I didn’t say it immediately after. He is definitely that kind of ex that ruins you, breaks your heart then ask “can we be friends?” After. Like are you for real?
He answers.
Damn he still sounds good

What Am I Doing?

who are you

Ever feel lost in your own skin?

Few weeks back I woke up in in the middle of the night in bed with Kennedy and Major after a wild night of dirty… hot… sticky….. insane sex. Now you would think I’d be tired but I couldn’t sleep a wink I did things to help me.

I turned on the TV and that did nothing, texted everyone in my private phone, watched funny animal videos, read the bible in the nightstand, I even played with myself until a came hoping that would use up the rest of my energy but it did nothing but annoy me.

My last 2 options were a swim in the hotel pool or a hot shower and although I was wide awake I was way too lazy to walk to the pool. I crawled over Major who was snoring like the devil himself and walked over to the bathroom for a shower and caught a glimpse of myself in the vanity mirror.

Smeared lipstick, raccoon eyes from my eye shadow and mascara, bruises on my shoulders and arms from Kennedy and Major squeezing me.

I used to be Morgan a carefree girl who did this job to make sure she didn’t have to live paycheck to paycheck.

I wasn’t the type of girl to hotel hop across the world and play sex games with men for crazy amounts of money.  And I damn sure wasn’t the type of girl to be getting DP’d by two men who combined are worth just a little over a billion dollars.  The girl in the mirror looked like me, smiled like me, had hazel eyes like me, But this girl I’m looking at is not was not me…… she is not Morgan.

I called up my mum because I knew she’d be up late and she always gave me comfort when I needed and just hearing her say hello was all I needed to start to feel better. She started asking me question about my childhood “Do you remember that day dad got all of you out of school and we spent the day at the beach?” “Do you remember your dance concert when you yelled Mummy I have to pee in the middle of the routine?” We laughed about it and she made a couple of jokes before she had to get some rest.

I laughed about the trip down memory lane with my mum but they weren’t genuine laughs because I had memory of those great moments with my family. Morgan spent every weekend with her family she didn’t lie to them constantly she had morals she didn’t cheat on her boyfriends with sex maniacs in restaurant bathrooms.

The more I looked at this other person the more disgusted I felt with the girl who looked like me.

Yes I was disgusted but yet I still craved what disgusted me……..

Just thinking about the things they would do to me if I simply asked for it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand I looked like an addict shaking from thoughts of my next hit. I stared in the mirror at the bodies in the bed behind me put my hands between my legs and felt how wet I was.

Who is this Morgan I have become? And what have I done with the Morgan I used to be?